Anonymous Sharpie Project

I thought I would share my oh so stylish blue sunglasses with you all (: but that is not all I will share! Move on to the bottom!!!          

I shall also share this picture.

I have decided i'm going to start sharpie-ing that statement on random benches I sit on throughout the town this year. Everyone needs a little pick me up. Right?

Twenty One. 21. two-one.

This is my twenty one songs. It's probably safe to say I need help. pahaha.

1.) Unsaid by The Fray

"We're both pretty sure
Neither one can tell
 We seem difficult
 What we got is hard as hell"
                                             

2.) Airplanes by B.o.B ft Hayley Williams
"There comes a time where you fade to the blackness
And when you're staring at that phone in your lap
And you hoping but them people never call you back
But that's just how the story unfolds"

3.) Hello Benjamin by Melpo Mene

"Now with this ring
i ask you to be mine
and it´s sad
cause i know it's only in dreams"

4.) So Jealous by Tegan & Sara

"How can they ask why I feel so angry
Do you see my problem if I never explain it
But then there's you asking me how long
Say something, it's taken me so long"

5.) I caught myself by Paramore

"Don't know what I want
But I know it's not you
Keep pushing and pulling me down
But I know in my heart it's not you"

6.) Breath me by Sia

"Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame"

7.) Lonely by Yael Naim

"Making it insane
Once again, I would try
To enchain you
But you open your eyes to the sky
and whisper"

8.) Over my Head (Cable car) by the fray

"I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth"

9.) Undisclosed Desires by Muse

"I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart"

10.) Sex on Fire by Kings of Leon

"Hot as a fever, rattling bones
I could just taste it, taste it
If it's not forever, if it's just tonight
Oh, it's still the greatest, the greatest, the greatest"

11.) I never told you by Colbie Caillat

"I miss those blue eyes
How you kiss me at night
I miss the way we sleep"

12.) All at Once by the Fray

"There are certain people you just keep coming back to
She is right in front of you
You begin to wonder could you find a better one
Compared to her now she's in question"

13.) Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond

"Hands, touching hands, reaching out
Touching me, touching you
Oh, sweet Caroline
Good times never seem so good
I've been inclined to believe it never would"

14.) Your Protector by Fleetfoxes

"As you lay to die beside me, baby 
On the morning that you came. 
Would you wait for me,
the other one,
would you wait for me?"

15.) Soul meets body by Death Cab for Cutie

"I want to live where soul meets body
And let the sun wrap its arms around me
And bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing
And feel, feel what its like to be new"

16.) I adore you (live in paris) by Melpo Mene 
"And every night we'll watch the stars
They'll be out for us" 

17.) Question Existing by Rihanna

"Who am I living for?
Is this my limit? Can I endure some more?
Chances are given, question existing
Who am I living for?"

18.) Dracula by Iced Earth

"When I close my eyes
I see her face, it comforts me
When I close my eyes
Memories cut like a knife"

19.) Just for Now by Imogen Heap.

"It's that time of year
Leave all our hopelessness's aside
If just for a little while
tears stop right here
I know we've all had a bumpy ride.
I'm secretly on your side"

20.) Monsters by Meg & Dia

"That night he caged her.
Bruised and broke her.
He struggled closer.
Then he stole her.
Violette wrists and then her ankles.
Silent Pain"

21.) Faded from the Winter by Iron & Wine

"Daddy's ghost behind you
Sleeping dog beside you
You're a poem of mystery
You're the prayer inside me"

The Rush.

When a breeze strikes my face, it's like someone shaking me. Telling me to wake the fuck up and realize there is a car in the street you were just about to walk across. Some say it's a guardian angel. Whatever it is, I think it's running for the door and telling it's boss to find a new dumbass to watch out for this ignorant girl.

Yes, I get distracted. But I like to take things in. The sound my feet make on the concrete. How my heart seems to beat at the same tempo of my music. How the sun is beating down my skin, barking comments like Get tanner! and don't burn you moron! Geez, why didn't you put sunscreen on stupid girl!?. All these things around me are too much to pay attention to the bigger things.

The small things keep me busy. I get the rush from these tiny things. The rush of contentment and happiness. I don't want to die. But I don't want the small things in life to go unnoticed.....Maybe cars should be smaller. eh?

Don't miss this comet. It has you hooked.

Currently The Fray By The Fray All at once. see related

My final goodbye, told in a letter.

Dear Heartbreaker,

It's strange to think that it's been four months since our little whoopsy. Four months since my world came crashing down right on my springy head. In those four months, however, I have drastically changed. You've told me since, "I don't know who you are anymore. I'm not sure if that's good or bad." For me? For me, that's good. Extremely good. I have found strength in myself and i'm no longer waiting for you to call or text or give me some type of appreciation. I have grown out of "love" with you. Now for you? For you, this is bad. This is terrible. You no longer have the girl you needed. And I fully realize that I wasn't the girl you wanted. I know I did not have allof the qualities you wanted and I know that I didn't fit the lifestyle. I have accepted these things. But seeing as how I never fought your lifestyle nor did I try to change you, you should have respected my willingness to go along with it all.

I have known you for a very long time and you first were my best friend. You know almost everything about me and it's scary to think that you have that at your disposal. I never thought you capable of hurting me, until the day you shattered me. The hurt I have felt for years is the hurt of you not wanting me. When you finally claimed you did, and then ran away with my best friend, that was a hurt I have never felt in my entire life.  Not because you chose someone else. But because of how you chose her, how you went about things, the sneakiness. The lies you told and that she told. The fact that two people I cared about dearly, both decided to hurt me....is beyond my comprehension. What have I ever done to you or her? What made you think I would stand for it?

I spent many nights in bed staring at the ceiling trying to think of what I did to deserve that amount of hurt from either of you. The crying, the screaming, the desperateness of trying to get you two to care. That was enough to kill somebody inside. But I snapped out of it. I stopped talking to you. You ignored me, I did the same. We acted as if we never had a past or a shared interest at one point. And I realized how amazing I felt after I left. I started realizing all the good things about being me. A me that wasn't dependent on you. I went on so many adventures, I lived. I had amazing times. I made a couple mistakes. And yes, I did call you on the night where my mistake left me teary eyed with no place to go. You were there for me that night, and I appreciate it. But that doesn't fix all the years of one-sidedness.

The point of this letter is to tell you that i'm sorry for all the negative energy I have planted on you. I'm sorry i have been so bitter, but I have to respect myself and I have to say goodbye. You were there one night out of the 5 years you've been around. You didn't realize up until a week ago that you "might" need me in your life. I'm through with mights and the maybes and the kindas and the "iono"s. People may say I just haven't waited long enough, but what should I wait for? Another heartbreak and another reason to not sleep at night? I will do no such thing. I love you, but i'm not in love with you anymore. You are a part of my past, a part of me that I won't forget. You are a huge spot in  my heart that no one else will fully be able to replace. Truth is, you are my "one person". You know, the one they always talk about in songs. Everybody has that one person. You'll find one eventually and it'll hurt like hell. But I won't be around to witness that. I'm letting all of this go.

I can't keep holding on to a lost cause. It'll kill me. I can't keep waiting for you to come to the realization that you do need me and you do want me. I'm saying goodbye. My final goodbye. The times have been fun. And I won't forget you, I promise. I'll always smile at the good parts of our relationship. I'll always find strength in some of the conversations we had. This goodbye is not only for me, but for you. So that you can figure out what you need and want. I won't be there to haggle you anymore. I love you and I always will. I only hope that everything works out for you. That you'll make it. That all your dreams become reality. Except that one that no body needs to know about, hahaha. It's been fun. Learn something, hun.

Cherish everything,

Jessica.

p.s. i'm sorry that you'll never read this and that you'll never know all of this. I'm sorry i am leaving you to figure it all out on your own. I'm sorry I am denying you the priveledge to know how I truly feel. But it's necessary. Goodbye, kid.